I've got a cure. [24 Dec 2009|02:03pm] so____overrated [ music | Tegan & Sara ] I think the worst part is that it hasn't gotten any easier. By this point, it was supposed to be better. I wasn't supposed to still be scavenging for rent money and scraping through empty fridges and waitressing full time. That was high school. That was the old, destitute me. I'm not sure what I was thinking- that somehow simply transporting myself to an elite school was going to transform me into a Jewish American Princess and my life into a glorious walk in the park. But I really thought it would. Not that I want to be Jewish. Or an American princess, for that matter. But it would be nice not to check my bank account twice a day, praying each time that my account isn't overdrawn, again, from some bad check I've written because I didn't actually have the money to pay for whatever it was I needed. But I'm just whining. It will get better. I got to hang out with Morgan last night, which was fantastic. No matter how far away we get, she will always be the white to my black. Always. I miss Dan terribly. And Kelsey. This is a very new feeling. That is, missing being at school. Maybe things are better than I think they are. Bruises filled with curiosity, I dress these wounds- structures of threat, bits of bone; Seamed and deep, clothed in flames. Small, stirring, Scalding little things spun into sunlight- I cannot tell it from love. Out in the Ravine, the voice of betrayal, the walls Of flesh and swollen veins, it echoes: How do people gain power over one Another? Better to be his downfall. Fear slits my breath, Its hazards unnumbered. post comment

Down Alameda. [19 Dec 2009|03:09pm] so____overrated Life update: 1. We broke up. We got back together. Because in many aspects I am just a petrified, little girl. 2. We went ice skating yesterday in Millennium Park, with the lights twinkling in the trees and the city shooting up around us, and I realized how far my life has come from what it once was. It was a very good feeling to have. 3. Home in Cincinnati tomorrow! Let the partying begin! 4. An agent asked to read my work. Not to celebrate prematurely or anything, but HOLLER. And so this post isn't completely worthless, a poem. You and I, We were left spread out Against the sky. Stand there on the highest jeering edge and Let me resign my speech for that unspoken: For you have compelled my imagination Beyond the rational, When we whispered together Reconciled among the stars Inhaling at each momentary recovery (Fantastic, I confess) And I will reinvent my name Until it sleeps more peacefully In the hollow of my chest where you used to rest. But you and I, Faithless, We are still strung together, Like the mind that deserts The body it has used. The rhapsody found In a fixation that can no longer Be fixed, or Maybe just the shaking in my voice. And this our exile, As I am forgotten and Would be forgotten, It was white light folded In between the sheets- A terrified surrender. And you and I, We were but Accidental stars, A singing until We drown, We drown, We drown. post comment

Chris Henry [18 Dec 2009|04:32am] elvisluvsme [ mood | sad ] R.I.P Chris Henry. You will be missed. You were really turning your life around and this is such a tragedy that you lost your life. We are going to miss you so much. We miss you Slim. #15 This season is for him. Play with his number on your helmets and his heart on your sleeves. post comment

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